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How to stack your identity capital and develop a drooling personality: 12 easy ways

It is said by Lars Fr. H. Svendsen that “self-identity is inextricably bound up with the identity of the surroundings.”

Most of the time when someone talks about capital, accounts, balance sheets and money pop up in our minds. Well, that’s what has been taught to us traditionally. There’s another type of capital which has no mention in your accountancy books, but that dictates the kind of person you become.

Identity capital.

As we are going through the usual routine of our lives, we are getting severely disconnected from our core identity. It leads to crisis. As per a report in Daily Mail, three in every four people aged between 26-30 go through a quarter-life crisis and feel dissatisfied.

What is causing such an identity crisis?

Your twenties are shaped up by how heavily you invest in identity capital—an investment into yourself. It goes much deeper than just knowing oneself. Our personality is created by the culmination of identity capital which includes various critical aspects of our lives like the company we keep, the friends we meet, the finances we manage, the places we visit and much more. It’s the lack of knowledge regarding identity capital which causes such crises.

Let’s understand what constitutes our identity capital and how to improve on it.

1. Find Something You Love

How many of us dream of a job that’s not only high on salary but gives us a satisfied and healthy life as well? And the bigger question is: How many of us actually manage to fulfill this dream?

As per a survey by Conference Board, New York, in 2014, 52.3% of the Americans were unhappy with their jobs.

Another survey by London School of Business and Finance shows that 65% of the UK workers within the age group of 25-34 seek a career change.Such is the story in almost every country.

We spend most of our life working, so it would be right to say that our happiness level is measured by how satisfied we are with our jobs. So, why do people stay stuck in a job they hate?There can be ample of reasons, but all of them lead to one consequence: you depreciate your identity capital.

T.S. Eliot continued his job at Lloyd Bank from 1917-1925, the time period in which he published The Waste Land.

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This is a very highly repeated cliché, but you have to “Love what you do and do what you love.” Of course, living off of a low-paying passion is difficult, but finding a job that can gratify your senses and can pay well is not. Through right degrees, resources and dedication, a person can certainly try to transform their life. But don’t be scared to take risks either.

Mark ZuckerbergCeo, Facebook

The biggest risk is not taking any risk… In a world that is changing really quickly, the only strategy that is guaranteed to fail is not taking risks.

2. Have Quality Peers Around

Our peers play a very important role when it comes to our health and survival. We meet numerous people at every stage of life. We take up many of their habits, personality traits and behavioural patterns—be it good or bad.

Around 10% smokers revealed in a survey at Mumbai (India), that they got hooked on to smoking due to the heavy influence of their peers. But peers can also help in achieving success, and that can only happen if they are adding value to your life.

A survey by Ruth Sutherland, published in The Guardian, reveals that one in every ten people don’t have a close friend and it makes them feel unloved.

Do you know only four friends on your Facebook account are your real friends?

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Even when we have websites like Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, people still feel lonely and depressed due to the lack of a real life connection.Humans are called social animals, and it would be apt to say that social acceptance and validation play a big role in the formation of self-acceptance as well. Our level of happiness and peace rises when we have peers who understand and support us. They not only help us to feel like we ‘belong’ to a place, but we form certain traits through these peers.

Criss Jami Author

Good friends will allow you to be as innocent and free as a child when in private, and as wise and mature as an adult when in public.

3. Health is Wealth

Health constitutes not only physical well-being but emotional well-being as well. Humans are engaged in technology day in and day out, but such a kind of focus is not being paid to one’s health.

As per a 2014 report by National Centre for Health Statistics, around 65% Americans with severe symptoms of depression were not getting any medical help. Numerous people all across the world are diagnosed with life-threatening diseases every day.

110 million people die because of stress every year.

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As years are passing by, new diseases are getting added to the already packed medical books. People are not getting the required treatments due to poverty, societal stigmas, and various other reasons.

Our fast-paced lives are hardly giving us any time to breathe. While gripping our chairs and working in the wee hours, we have forgotten how to cherish the sunrise. Since burgers and pizzas are available just a call away, no one wants to take the pain of cooking healthy food at home.

Buddha

To keep the body in good health is a duty... otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear.

Physical activities have been reduced to nil, as most of our energy is spent on the internet. From socializing to business deals, everything can be done with one click. People have no reason to physically move themselves. But alas! Technology has certainly made us ignorant of the benefits of exercise and physical activities.

It’s been scientifically proven that exercise can reduce the chances of early death by 30% and fatal illnesses like cancer by 50%. In fact, a study that was published in 2005 showed that walking fast for around 60 minutes three times a week can have a positive effect on depression ranging from mild to moderate.

Your health is the direct indication of how healthy your relationship is with yourself— the healthier a person is, the more lovingly he is connected with oneself.

4. Live Your Life with Someone Who Makes It Easy

Your partner can play one of the most influential roles in your life. Falling in love changes us emotionally and biologically. Finding a partner is an inevitable part of life, and so is the fact that we learn a lot of new things from them. It can be as huge as culture or as small as eating salad.

2.3 million couples marry every year in the U.S.

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Here is Sternberg's triangular theory of love. 

When a relationship is healthy, its effect is clearly visible in the way a person interacts not only with his surroundings but with himself as well. A relationship can trigger issues associated with our old identity, and due to the constant association with the partner, it can lead to the creation of a new identity as well.

Carl Jung Psychiatrist

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.

But many a times, people stay stuck in relationships that are clearly toxic. A survey has stated that six out of ten British people compromise and stick to an unsatisfying relationship. As per psychology reports, after a break-up, a person can go through an identity crisis as well.

To lead a healthy life and build a positive personality, it is important not to allow any toxic behaviour to settle in. Having a partner who compliments you can transform your life in wonderful ways.

5. Manage Your Finances Wisely

The global financial crash of 2008 triggered an increased number of suicides amongst Europeans and North Americans. 5,000 suicides were reported in the year 2009 due to the crisis.

Every single year, many people commit suicide due to financial pressure.Money affects our lives from all angles—be it our relationships, our happiness levels, or the food we eat. In fact, finance is one of the leading causes of breakups and divorces.

Money management plays a big role in ensuring how secure we are. Money related issues can make a person succumb to depression and other stress-related illnesses. It’s really important for a healthy life to manage finances intelligently.

It not only gives you a sense of living, but money can also shape up your personality in whichever way you want. Yes, some people do engage in vanity, but there are many others who are into charity and donations as well.

John Locke Philospher

Our incomes are like our shoes; if too small, they gall and pinch us; but if too large, they cause us to stumble and to trip.

6. Enhance Your Skills by Learning an Instrument

Playing instruments can be considered a form of meditation. It helps a person to connect with himself. Not only is it a trance-like experience for the one who plays, but it’s truly transcendental for listeners, too.

Jaron Lanier Writer

If there's any object in human experience that's a precedent for what a computer should be like, it's a musical instrument: a device where you can explore a huge range of possibilities through an interface that connects your mind and your body, allowing you to be emotionally authentic and expressive.

But not many people are engaged in learning instruments as passionately. Generally, instruments don’t get much priority in our lives when our main focus is how to earn our living.

Less than half of the U.S. population plays an instrument.

It has been proven by Science that learning an instrument can aid in the development of the brain and bettering neural processing.

Erhu is one of the most popular instruments in China.

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It is important to spend time on the things that can help you in improving yourself internally as well as can give you a new talent to learn. It’s one of the most honest mediums to express yourself.

 7. All Work No Play, Makes Jack a Dull Boy

Most of us have been involved in sports during our school or college time. A few of us manage to continue playing sports, but most of us get busy in our jobs or relationships and neglect sports.

Playing sports teaches us how to be disciplined, dedicated and how to work in a team. Athletes are extremely loyal towards their team, play with extreme devotion and are well-behaved.

A UK study revealed that playing sports can improve the self-esteem of teenagers which will ultimately lead to the creation of a healthy adult.

When sports can instil such good qualities inside us, then why do we put sports on the backburner as we grow up?

Bob Feller Baseball Player

Every day is a new opportunity. You can build on yesterday's success or put its failures behind and start over again. That's the way life is, with a new game every day, and that's the way baseball is.

One of the biggest advantages of playing sports is that it helps to keep you fit. The National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases has revealed that more than half of the adults (68.8%) in U.S. are overweight or obese.

An average American spends $1200 every year on fast food.

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It’s high time that sports are encouraged not only for children, but they become a regular part of our twenties as well.

8. Gain a Different Vision Through a Different Language

Language is a way to express yourself. From an early age, you learn to express yourself in a specific language. As you grow, you keep on learning new languages. But do you know that when we speak different languages, we emit different personalities?

Language makes up for a significant part of the personality. It’s one of the bases regarding how you present yourself in front of others. We judge others through how they communicate, and that’s why there are so many “Improve your speaking skills” classes all around the world.

Noam Chomsky Linguist

Language is a process of free creation; its laws and principles are fixed, but the manner in which the principles of generation are used is free and infinitely varied. Even the interpretation and use of words involves a process of free creation.

As we learn new languages, our mind expands. It improves our memory, too. We learn about different cultures and traditions. Being multilingual also helps to get good jobs. It improves your social standing. It reduces the chances of Alzheimer and dementia at an early age. A person can enhance his power of multi-tasking as well.

Chinese is the most spoken language in the world.

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As per a study published in The Guardian, more than half of Europeans (54%) can hold a conversation in more than one language.

One must always try to expand their skills not only in their mother tongue, but in other languages as well.

9. Pack Your Bags and Travel

Who doesn’t like travelling? Leaving behind our mundane lives, we can just venture into the unknown. We are always waiting for our next vacations while saving up the money so that we can go to all those places we have always dreamed about.

But travelling is not only a treat for eyes, but it is food for you soul and mind as well. It facilitates spiritual and emotional growth. As you travel, you are not only introduced to new cultures and foods, but you can also learn a lot about different ethnicities and lifestyles.

Hong Kong is the most visited place in the world.

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It's been proven that people who travel acquire better problem-solving abilities and become more creative. Due to their multicultural engagement, they have been offered more jobs.

Andre Gide Author

Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.

Despite having so many benefits, people are not getting much time to travel and enhance their abilities. As per a survey conducted in 2014, around 56% Americans had not taken a vacation that year.

There are various reasons like lack of time, fear of terrorism and the major one is a lack of money. But as per many travellers, it is possible to travel around while managing all other aspects, too.

10. Set Your Priorities Straight

How important it is to learn the skill of prioritizing different aspects of our lives. We make or break our lives by figuring out what should be on our priority list. You might prioritize your marriage over your career now, but years later, you might regret letting go of that job proposal.You might prioritise reading a book over going to a party and might end up enjoying the time alone. Our entire life is a series of decisions we take, as we weigh the priority of each task, situation and person.

As per a report published in Daily Mail, a majority of people prioritize owning a property first over marrying and having children.

Many a times, we prioritize materialism over emotions, superficiality over depth and end up garnering lots of regrets. A life full of mistakes is much better than a heart full of regrets.

Bronnie Ware, an Australian nurse, revealed the top 5 regrets of dying patients in her blog. And the topmost regret was not having the courage to live a life as per their own will, but rather as per others’ expectations.

Stephen R. Covey Educator

Most of us spend too much time on what is urgent and not enough time on what is important.

At the end of the day, it all comes down to priorities. Life is too short to be spent waiting and hoping. One thing you should be prioritising over anything else is your own happiness.

11. New Things Can Give Way to a New Life

Break the monotony of life by trying out new things. It could be anything—joining yoga classes, learning a new skill, discovering a new place to trek, a new career, whatever.

We are not meant to be constant. Our body is growing older, our mind is getting bigger, and our life is getting shorter. So, why do you allow yourself to settle into a mundane lifestyle? We are living in a society where stability and predictability are considered important. People seek security in every step they take, and it ends up breeding depression and general lack of interest towards life.

Walt Disney Entrepreneur

We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.

Trying something new not only causes emotional and mental growth, but it also adds the much needed spark in your life. People enjoy being in their comfort zones because it’s familiar. But familiar is not always correct. It takes courage to walk out of your comfort zone.

12. Learning Everyday Skills as Building Blocks

We talk about flying an airplane or learning to speak Spanish, but most of us forget how valuable average skills are. These skills help you to carry out your day-to-day life. Something as routine as cooking, driving or sewing can save a lot of trouble and pain in the times of need.

As per a survey, around 28% Americans don’t know how to cook.

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These average skills help you to become adaptable in learning harder skills. Moreover, they teach you how to cater to your own needs. These average skills are the foundation of the building. You have to become a master over these in order to gain more knowledge about other things.

Leonardo da Vinci Painter

Learning never exhausts the mind.

Everything can be achieved step-by-step, but in order to attain bigger goals, we should not neglect these small activities which constitute the biggest part of our lives.

Conclusion

It is by forming our identity that we can form our personality. But the focus has to be both inside as well as outside ourselves.You might be fulfilled in some aspects of your life whereas lacking in others, but your identity is wholly created by a balance in each and every way.

Figure out what needs more focus in your life, nothing should be achieved while underestimating the value of other important factors.

It is only by investing in things beyond your bank account that you can become an immensely successful and happy individual. The first step towards investing in yourself is to start getting to know who you are.

So, when are you starting to build your identity capital?



Categories
Life Hacks Self-Improvement

7 arguments that prove the hollowness of the shiny ‘follow your passion’ advice

“Follow your passion” is often offered as the “one fit” solution for all our dilemmas.

We live in a time where passion is being propagated as the ‘be all end all’ of our lives.

Lack of passion is blamed as the cause of all failure.

Passion is constantly given credit as the driving force behind all success.

This philosophy has become so omnipresent that the notion of not following your passion seems like such a radical idea, doesn’t it?

We have all been presented with the romanticised idea that passion is the only accelerator for success. We have ended up interchanging passion for dreams and objectives.

Passion is an emotion and is often transient. Objectives need planning, focused effort and money. We are given the rosy picture of success without any insight into the struggles that go with chasing your passion.

Here are 7 arguments against the idea of pursuing your passions as the guaranteed way to success.

1. Passion and demand - they don’t intersect often

Over the last couple of decades, the idea of turning your passion into your livelihood has gained so much traction. It has become the central idea to carving out a fulfilling career and life.

7 Arguments against following your passion

But the dirty truth is that, just because you like doing something, doesn’t mean people will pay you to do it. Most people’s passions don’t fit well with the world of work. The convergence between passion and profit is pretty limited.

7 Arguments against following your passion

In fact, the top 3 areas of people’s passion are - art, music and sports. These are highly competitive and overcrowded.

If you try, you can definitely meet some level of success in any field. But you will have to engage a disproportionate amount of your energy and time to achieve it.

Have an objective look at why you are dissatisfied with your present job. Is it really lack of passion that is holding you back? More often than not you will find it is not so. This could just be an issue pertaining to your job and not your area of work itself. It could even be the gap in skills and abilities on your part which are leading to inefficiency and frustration.

2. Leading an experiential life and creating your own identity is the real deal

All the great achievers have chased excellence rather than success. They have put in thousands of hours into honing their skills and becoming the best at what they do. The worshippers of passion often leave out this vital factor in creating the alchemy of success

7 Arguments against following your passion

What you are working in now, might just be a pit stop. But if you fail to bring your best and make the most of this stop, it will definitely hold you back in reaching your destination.

Henry Ford, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs - none of them started with the job they loved from day one. They had to struggle through and explore their opportunities before hitting upon great success. So don’t be disheartened with your present job and rather use it as a stepping stone.

Mike Rowe Television host
Putting opportunity before passion doesn’t mean ignoring your dream, or settling for something uninspiring – it just means you start with the business, before adding the pleasure.

When you focus too much on ‘what you want’, all the deficiencies of your job come into sharper focus. Try an attitude shift –success lies in quality, no matter what you are doing. This will drive you to perform better.

Acquire rare and valuable skills that will refine the quality of your work. Make yourself an indispensable cog in the machinery of your organisation. This will help you get the jobs in which you have greater control over your schedule and creativity.

3. Passion has a lot of pressure associated with it, so why not follow your curiosity?

Passion is a loaded word. When you envision your passion, it’s often a grandiose idea – the towering flame. Passion makes outrageous demands on your resources.

Passion expects ultimate devotion to the exclusion of everything as a precondition of success.

Passion aims for results that are either/or – it does not have a middle path. This is why passion when present, creates anxiety and urgency. If you want to chase your passion but haven’t yet found it –it creates a sense of apprehension and constant feeling of failure.

As Elizabeth Gilbert Grey, who is a zealous advocate of living a curiosity driven life says,

“For me, a lifetime devoted to creativity is nothing but a scavenger hunt — where each successive clue is another tiny little hit of curiosity. Pick each one up, unfold it, and see where it leads you next. Small steps. Keep doing that, and I promise you: The curiosity will eventually lead you to the passion.”

Curiosity is gentler and far more accommodating than passion.

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It is often a treasure trail that guides you to your purpose, without keeping you under constant pressure to perform. It basically gives you clues that you can pursue without breaking the bank. The stakes of pursuing a curiosity are so much lower, thus they are easily accessible.

4. We don’t know what makes us happy

We suck at predicting what makes us happy. We overestimate risks of bad/uncomfortable changes. We overlook the good things that have been constant in our life over time.

Even our perception of happiness shifts with age according to this research by Dr.Jennifer Aaker.

Many researches have revealed that we are often biased and wrong when we predict what makes us happy. In this light, impractical it is to shadow a passion in the belief that it will make you happy?

Harvard psychologist Dan Gilbert says our beliefs about what will make us happy are often wrong. Our "psychological immune system" lets us feel truly happy even when things don’t go as planned.

The prison of passion – it often presents you with a picture of how success will look for you. And until you achieve that success you cannot be happy. If you are unfortunate enough to not have a concrete passion to follow – then you are led to believe you cannot be happy. These limiting beliefs will rob you of the ability to enjoy simple everyday things and gradual achievements.

5. Why turn something you love doing into work?

Take an honest look at things you consider your passion. Can you do it day in and day out for the rest of your life? How long can you sustain your enthusiasm if it becomes the main course instead of a side dish in your life?

Typically we use our hobbies/interest to break the monotony of our day jobs. They help us switch off and this is the reason why we enjoy them so much.

This is why we end up thinking ‘If I could do this every day I would be so happy’.

But when your hobby becomes your job, where do you go for a break?

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There is always a gap between your passion and the peripheral work you have to put in. This work is often long term, not always fun and demands your absolute commitment. Even if you are talented, the less glamorous aspects of engaging full time in your passion may end up making it a chore.

7 Arguments against following your passion

Use your passion to recharge and rejuvenate yourself. Enjoy it, have fun with it – don’t let it become the thing you need to escape from.

6. Can’t you be successful, make some cash and nurture your passion alongside?

Passion doesn’t always pay the bills. As much as we want to do only what we love, it’s a practical impossibility for most of us.

Michael Dell rose through the ranks of dishwasher to Maitre'd in a Chinese restaurant. He even sold second hand computers door to door before starting the uber successful Dell company.

Warren Buffett started as a newspaper delivery boy.

Larry Page worked for tech companies before co-founding google.

Passion is not an ability and it is not even a winning strategy. When pursuit of your passion is your only option, cost of failure is very high. This curtails your freedom to be bold and make moves that have an element of Risk.

So instead of viewing passion as an either/or option, why not see it as an and/both option?

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You can use your everyday job as the cushion that lets you explore your interest without the crippling fear of failure. You could even explore the possibility of combining your passion with your education.

If you are passionate about writing, start a blog. If you want to be a motivational speaker, start a podcast. If you are a lawyer and a music lover, you could dedicate a chunk of your time to work with clients in music.

7 Arguments against following your passion

These are little steps that will give you the satisfaction of pursuing the things you love. This will also help you de-stress and recharge from the pressures of your daily routine. You can afford to pursue one of your interests and swap it for another if you wish without shifting the bedrock of your life.

7. The fleeting nature of passions

According to the End of History Illusion Study, “People, it seems, regard the present as a watershed moment at which they have finally become the person they will be for the rest of their lives. This “end of history illusion” had practical consequences, leading people to overpay for future opportunities to indulge their current preferences.”

Our interests, values and preferences take 360 degree turns over time. Think back about the things you cared deeply about ten years ago.

How many of them have stood the test of time?

People want to remove their permanent tattoos; we have built exit doors into all commitments including marriage. It is human nature to shift and change our goals as we develop our skills and abilities.

The passion you are fixating on today may change over time.

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So be open to opportunities that are not exactly your dream jobs. Check out the career graph of serial entrepreneurs like Richard Branson and Mark Cuban. They have pursued multiple passions, often at the same time. They have used one passion as the leverage for furthering other passions.

7 Arguments against following your passion

If you look at the self-made billionaires of the world, they too have achieved success by pursuing many passions.

In light of this, it makes sense to keep our options open instead of putting all our eggs in a single basket. Cultivate your passion, but don’t feel guilty if you feel this is not you wanted after all. Don’t be afraid to walk away.

Conclusion

Oprah Winfrey Media Propreiter

The biggest adventure we can you can take is to live the life of your dreams.

In chasing your passion are you playing out of your position?

If your pursuit of passion leads you beyond your natural talent and aptitude, you will have an everyday struggle on your hands. Always look at the bigger picture and make the realistic assessment of your abilities. Match your skills, talents and goals with the career path you are choosing.

Be passionate about being the best at your job. Let go of the limiting belief that only one passion can bring you success and happiness.

Has this article convinced you to get off the treadmill of chasing your passion? Are you willing to break out of the ‘prison of passion’ and explore the opportunities with an open mind?